Continuing on

Not much happening this week, other than I made a conscious effort to enjoy every day as much as possible. I woke up earlier in the week and felt somewhat cranky, looked in the mirror and decided I was going to either be miserable all day or do the best I could to make this day and the week enjoyable. I made an effort to be kind and considerate of others around me and it took a lot less effort to enjoy the week than to be focused on all the negativity I can dig out of my subconscious; something as complimenting "my Barista" on being there that early in the morning to give me a coffee . I went out on Saturday date night and  instead of throwing on jeans and a t-shirt I thought, "wait a second, this is a special night" and duded myself up in my best jeans, a new shirt as this is a special time. There's all those old sayings about saving the special dishes, dressing up for the occasion and waiting for reasons that are special to dude yourself up, but the heck with it, it was a special day.......I started out in the Lil Leopards class and when my little compadre ran across the Kwoon and grabbed my finger to do the run around warm up; it was special, all the money in the world can't buy that moment. Continuing on with the morning I was pushed to my limits in "fitness class" and wow, seeing where I'm at and how close of where I need to be, looking at what I need to fix on my sit-ups, really enlightened my day! In open training, Mr. Fuhr and I gabbed a little, analyzed a lot, talked some big people stuff, trained somewhat and were reprimanded by Ms. Fuhr for talking too much (nothing like being owned by 12 year old) and checked out what we needed to fix after we videoed our forms. I took myself out for a light lunch, caught up on some reading and finished off by making pasta from scratch for supper. I guess it's all about being appreciative of what I have in life; I may not have the most money, the fanciest house or car but I think I'm pretty lucky; my body works (the aches and pains are from activities people my kids age should be doing, but "I'm" doing them), I have dreams and goals, I'm no better than or less than, sometimes I wonder if I'm on the right track and the most random comments affirm that as if they're just being said to me,.....I'm just ok, the bad I believe has happened so I can appreciate the good. Sure there are going to be dark moments that will come up in the future, but for now this week has been ok.

Push-ups 1205 (7413)
Sit-ups 685 (3780)
Forms 12 (67)
Horse Stance 2:30
Gym 1 (8)
Sparring 25 (60)
Bike/run/walk 12k (41.6)

Holiday Hangover

Ever try do anything with a  hangover? I just got back from 10 days away, yet a well needed break just the same. It's good to be back to familiarity again and yet see how quickly one's training has slipped while trying to get back into focus again. I made it a point everyday to do pushups and sit-ups, but there were some days I let my numbers fall behind. Taking time out for my requirements seemed to always draw a crowd; the guy from smokers row on the beach commenting on what a great way to finish the day; doing Tai Chi, forms and 100 push-ups (I asked him to join me next time, he declined), I didn't realize anyone was watching! The unimpressed customs official who asked me why I needed a cane when I  hurdled over the walkways instead of walking back and forth like everyone else did; I explained I was trying to stay "in character" for some training I am doing and wanted to always have my cane with me and although I can be quite charming in the right circumstances, he wasn't having any of it. It was explained to me very sternly to go back and recheck it, as in "their" country these are the rules and it wasn't going on the plane with me. I thought about a good rebuttal, except, he had a gun and I had a cane. I did find time to review my curriculum, make notes and get through several chapters of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, and for some reason this year, I'm able get into the book and grasp what I'm reading instead of wasting the energy I was using before to hold up the plane, keep an eye on the wings, engines, fuselage, judging the crew, figuring out who might be a terrorist or should I just say my fear of  flying wasn't there and I was just simply more relaxed. Finding open areas in the airports, school yards, the jungle and the like always afforded some workout time but it wasn't the same as being back home. Now being back, referring to a hangover analogy; things are still somewhat disoriented, trying to review the past 10 days events, I'm not really grounded yet, and thinking did I do some of the things that are now a memory and sure enough I did except for this time they're all good. This blog might not seem to be a serious reflection of where my journey is going but it gave me some time so get myself ready to go, to get, to grasp, to reach out, to execute the ever-changing upcoming plan for this year. During my "alone time" on the beach, in the jungle, hiking etc. I took a look at all the distractions pulling me away from my direction, but they will always be there, but I can deal with them when the time comes. Robert.

Push-ups 1075 (6208)
Sit-ups 325 (3095)
Forms 6 (55)
Horse stance 1:30
Gym 0 (7)
Sparring (Does verbal count?)  (35 min)
Walk/run/bike 17.6k (29.6k)

We're not in Kansas anymore.....

I decided to take a small break, head somewhere warm, refocus on what's important and just basically chill out for a while. I'm in the Monteverde Cloud Forest Biological Reserve in the Costa Rican jungle for a week then it's off to the west coast to explore further and add more to the contrast of this incredible country. Sounds exotic right, except, everywhere I go, "I take me"! I've been frustrated as of late, but with what "it" is I really haven't figured it out yet; the only solace I've found was at the Kwoon, being active with others is the only thing that has kept me out of my head. A few years back, a friend who cares more about me than sometimes I do, looked me straight in the face and said "You have no right to enact your feelings on another human being, unless they're good"! That had to be the most profound statement that keeps me in line when life's frustrations happen or in other words "I'm not getting my way". I'm not sure if anyone else can relate, but the last time I checked, there is one steering wheel in most rental cars, but between two control freaks buckled in for the long haul, this does have its moments. Here I am in absolute paradise, driving along with the whitest knuckles you could imagine, up three hat sizes,  with that pulsating garden hose sized vein in my forehead, not sure when the last time I exhaled was, trying not to say anything wrong, but my silence is absolutely deafening along the drive (not saying anything doesn't make it right either). By the third day, my mind still not settled, I had nothing left, except to do those stupid push-ups and sit-ups, that was my only constant. I went on a strenuous hike in the morning in +35c, finding my 6 minutes and when it was all said and done I managed to get myself "centred" instead of being "self centred" and things started to fall into place again. I think that was the first time the push-ups and sit-ups made sense and weren't just a hoop to jump through. Now that things have somewhat calmed down inside, I'm learning a lot about the jungle; those cute little fuzzy pods that I just had to touch, aren't fuzzy.....I spent an hour pulling out some type of stinging splinters from both hands, then doing my best picture pose up against a tree, only to find out that it's protected by thousands of thorns up its trunk, did produce a few "F" bombs and some fast reflexes, that tiny little green tree snake, that's another story, but here on day 5, I'm starting to learn not to touch things,......even though I want to. Robert.

Did what I could

I always thought my blog would should be like a good miniseries; each week would be something you would wait for, get a rush of excitement with unexpected hidden twists, then be unfulfilled waiting for next weeks episode to see what happens after that. This week has been nothing more than how to keep progressing while coming down with some type of cold or flu. Instead of jumping into each day with excited anticipation it has been a week of doing what I can. I had those old shortcomings of "take a rest, take it easy, this is "a sign" to slow it down, but one of the major flaws I have is to look for those excuses, look for those well deserved breaks, or as I like to call them, "My Grandma moments". If  I wanted positive reinforcement, I'd talk to my grandma, no matter what I did or didn't do, Grandma always made me feel perfect, unfortunately years later, I can see perhaps where some of my reenforced irresponsibility may have come from. So instead of taking a break, or as it was pointed out in one of our I Ho Chuan meetings, "Falling off the wagon" and not realizing how far you fall behind, I pressed on as much as I could, which made my numbers fall not too far behind.  Also this week there has been a lot of self reflection, looking at my thoughts, behaviours, rationalizations, justifications; do other people have these thoughts and moments like I do?  For example; I have to get my speedometer checked on my truck, there is no way I could have been following some young guy who ran a stop sign, to a gas station 20km away, at 130kmph, then knocking on his window to discuss driver training and for some reason him crawling over to the passenger side of his vehicle during the conversation, it's not me, right?  Then on another note, letting something that should have been discussed at once with someone close to me, rather than letting it build for a couple of weeks until something non related set me off and then the monster from within lets loose vs having a civil conversation, everyone does this, right,.......I don't think so. I guess there's a lot of room for improvement yet. Robert.

Push ups 1170 (5133)
Sit-ups 460 (2770)
Forms 6 (49)
Jacobs Ladder 1:30
Horse Stance 1:35
Gym 2 (7)
Sparring 35 min.
Walk/run/bike 12km