Not much of anything, but lots of little

This was a week of rest and unrest. I found myself resting whenever I could or should I say when I simply just had to. As much as I fought the self imposed guilt somedays going to bed as soon as I made it into my hotel room after work, I found it was something I needed the most (and lets face it I couldn't stay awake anyway). There was also the passing of two friends; one of those "Mom's" from way back when, that lived on my street who instilled in us neighbourhood kids "a conscience" who had lived a full life and had persevered through life's joys and hardships and the other was someone way, way to many years younger than me, who had never done anyone or anything wrong as far as I could see and I felt life simply ripped him off with thoughts of "that just isn't fair". But I think this wasn't a week where I felt very connected to my prayers, meditations or asking for guidance. At one stage of my life my prayers were usually triggered by red and blue flashing lights in my rear view mirror and more times than not, it was followed by "whew" instead of an "amen". I managed to plan the finish my work out of town ;) so that I could be back for Fridays class and especially Saturdays Tai Chi and fitness which are my reconnection classes which brought me back to my ground zero or should I say "my moving meditations" that calm me down and help me refocus. Now for most normal folks, gasping for breath, dripping with sweat at the end of a class and gauging by the stiffness and pain of the following day isn't what you might consider normal, but it works for me as I'm able to say I gave it my best; for me this is the way I reconnect. I think all things combined , throughout the thoughts and events I'm able to appreciate things more than I did before and as they happen. Robert.

Not too energetic this week

This week was one of no energy, lots of intentions but no enthusiasm. I'm not sure what went on this week, but I had no energy, no spark, so it had to be turned into a lesson of  "press on, push through". Not sure if it was a bug or a cold but I could have rolled up at any time throughout my day and went to sleep. I managed to separate that it wasn't injuries and although I wasn't as flexible or elastic as I wanted to be, I just used what strength I had to push through; pushups and sit ups were straight mechanical. Finishing the week with a Tai Chi warm up then going past my comfort zone in fitness class is always the week ending highlight, but this week it just wasn't there; coming off the mats, soaked with sweat, followed with a full uniform change, it was so worth it, but the enthusiasm just wasn't there. So I guess this week was one of small lessons about not falling behind by sitting on the sidelines justifying that it was worse than it was. Robert.

Slowing down the pendulum swings

I too often "live in the moment", sometimes this can be a good thing, but most times like anything that can't be maintained, you don't get what you pay for or perhaps you don't understand the cost until later. Blogging I understand, should about the journey, but I've been reserved in how much I share; looking back at times in my life when the alligators have ripped off my ass and are ready to drag me under for the death roll, if you were to ask me how I am, I could give you a smile, a story, make you laugh, deep down some really shallow stuff, in all reality I'm not sure who I'm trying to (B.S.) convince, you or me. For instance, working out of town has its benefits, especially come payday as your take home pay is always more than doubled and who doesn't like that, but when you look at the "cost" of what it took, it's not really a great payday. Here's the catch; when I'm out of town my mind tells me this is great, do more, think of all the things you can do and have done with the extra money, the heck with everything else that stands in the way of  pounding in the hours. When I'm back home and back in training; "Hey, this is the real deal, forget about work, jump right in with both feet", then realize I'm in my all or nothing thinking here as well. At this stage of my life I want to travel and when I jump on my motorcycle, I envision heading off to the east coast, the Florida Keys, Panama, Alaska, when all I'm really doing is going for groceries. So this part of my journey is to finally face this nemesis that has plagued me for so long; "All or nothing", there will always be work; but how much is enough, there must be a plan at this stage of my training and is the plan real, does it have balance, trip destinations; they will always be there, but most important of all is I don't have to try to do everything at once, all right now and most of all  to stop trying to create an illusion that it's all good while thinking I'm impressing someone. Or, perhaps an old saying comes to mind, "What people think of you is none of your business". Time to move on, even though I've fallen slightly behind, get back to following the plan.
Push ups 1360 (8773)
Sit ups 925 (4705)
Sparring 25 min. (85)
gym 2
Forms 6 (73)
Horse Stance 2 min.
Walk/bike/hike 32 km (73 km)